840 am - T-minus 7 days to go till I am on my way to my first deployment. I am a middle aged man who is confused about life as I ever was before in my history of living. I didn't get started on my calling in life until I was 36, and I feel as I am much too late in life to actually accomplish anything. I see my self beginning when I should be excelling and soaring. But looking at different generations, maybe that is how my parent's generation had it instead of this Xer.
I have had a pretty good 12 year run at being a school teacher, but that doesn't stack up for me because that wasn't my call. I have also had a "so called friend" steal me blind and ruined me financially, all in the name of God. And now he works right outside my window, I have a front row seat to see him succeed. He gets wealthier and wealthier, while I continue to struggle. The smile on his face, is the frown on mine.
He did say two things that have stood out and I think I can agree 100% on and use as a learning lesson. 1) People don't get rich by giving their money away and helping others. 2) Nobody can out asshole me, I am very good at it.
My life seems pretty depressing and I would say your correct, but it has been a true roller coaster with plenty of ups, downs, and twist. I have much to live for and a short period of time to do it in. The starting point is now.
This deployment is like an adventure that a kid would look forward to. Battling evil and trying to rescue the less fortunate, traveling to foreign lands, the adventure of a lifetime. Too bad I am not a kid. I hope I leave enough stories for my grandkids to look up to me on though. I am looking forward to this journey, and I hope to see some action, and be able to change some lives.
Now, being in need of a starting point in which I am getting, I say that this deployment is a perfect opportunity. So, in the famous words of the great Andy Dufresne (in which I love), "It's time to get busy living or get busy dyeing"
I relate to this movie, Shawshank Redemption, more than anything to my life. A man, Andy, is given a bad shake in life, goes through hardships, and a bible thumping respected person takes advantage of him but proves his true colors late in life. When the time comes to act, Andy goes toward his goal, no matter what poop he has to crawl through.
